Giovanni Battista Salvi da Sassoferrato [Public domain; Wikipedia]
I’ve connected insomnia and prayer for years.
But I’m getting tired of it.
Long ago, I heard some sage person comment, “if you can’t sleep at night, pray. The devil doesn’t like it and he’ll stop harassing you so you can fall asleep.”
I tried it.
Often.
I haven’t found the saying to be true.
After seemingly days of not sleeping well–I must stress, I eventually get enough sleep to dream–I decided to stop fighting and arguing about my lack of sleep.
My friends, not to mention my poor family, are tired of hearing about my insomnia.
I’ve read countless articles. I’ve tried everything except sleeping pills and the doctor’s latest suggestion: “I’ve found that people who have trouble falling asleep have psychological issues and should deal with those.”
I’m not dealing with worry or personal problems. I just can’t get my brain to shut off.
Some of you are familiar with the problem of getting a song stuck in your head. Louie, Louie is a famous culprit.
It’s like that for me, particularly with zumba music.
The major problem is my brain doesn’t want to lie down and go to sleep. If I get up for a bathroom visit, my brain urges me to look at the clock upon my return and calculate how many hours of sleep I have left until I need to get up.
That’s not helpful.
All those wonderful articles about the problems caused by a lack of sleep?
Unfair. I’d love to get 8 hours of deep, restful sleep.
I can dream, can’t I?
I try!
I turn off the electronics an hour early. The room is dark (or I wear a mask), the air is cool, the pillow perfect, the clock turned away from the wall.
I wear socks if my feet are cold. My neighborhood is quiet. I lock up the yowling vintage cat if she’s causing trouble.
I’ve curtailed my life-long habit of reading a novel in bed. (Never nonfiction, that engages my brain too much).
I read in a chair until my eyes are sagging and then I climb into bed.
Brain jumps to alert!
This weekend I gave up and decided to embrace the insomnia as God’s call to prayer.
(Will this satisfy my brain?)
Adding prayer to the night’s agenda.
Maybe I’m the only person available to pray for a specific need: like a woman in labor or a person who is dying.
I go through the mental list of prayer needs I’ve encountered during the day.
I think about the challenges facing loved ones or Facebook friends and pray for those.
(Including some of my readers–maybe even you).
I remind God I would like to be asleep.
On nights the prayers seem to go on forever, I get to President Obama and the cabinet, Congress and others in Washington.
I remind God of what I need to do the next morning and why sleep would be a good idea.
(Bargaining; brain loves it)
And I often pray a prayer shared by my military wife/writer pal Karen Whiting. It goes something like this:
“Lord, you know my situation and all that I have to do tomorrow. Please give me the sleep I get to accomplish those goals. Amen.”
That doesn’t usually put me to sleep, but it allows me to relax. God will provide the rest for what I need to do the next day.
If you decide to join me in the middle-of-the-night prayers and need a guide, read my blog post Six Things to Pray About in the Middle of the Night.
The thought that makes me grateful.
Bernadette Soubirous;By abbé P. Bernadou [Public domain; Wikipedia]
I’m warm and comfortable.
I’m not like Saint Bernadette (from the movie The Song of Bernadette). She got a call to pray, too, and awoke at 4 o’clock every morning to go to the chilly chapel and kneel on cold stone–which she did for years.
She contracted tuberculosis in her right knee–which led to her death at 35.
With the example of such a woman, I cannot complain about my insomnia.
I’ve decided to be thankful.
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